Asinine in Atlanta...

Anybody following this idiot?

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050527/ap_on_re_us/fugitive_crane

Well it seems some yahoo has perched himself on top of a crane and is threatening to jump. Something about being wanted for the murder of his girlfriend or something...

One thought crosses my mind; "Can't we just shoot him down?"

I mean he wants to die, and if he's killed his girlfriend we want him dead...

...sounds like a Win/Win situation if ever there was one, no?

If shooting is too harsh, though and we really want him down (do we?). How about this; Take away all those safety airbags they have put all over the place underneath him. Then tell him to get down or else. After 10 seconds start shaking the crane. He'll come down. If he wanted to die, he would have jumped already. He doesn't want to die, he just wants to be not guilty. Tough shit. You're guilty. Get down and go to jail! Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars, and certainly do not bother trying to hold your pants up. Don't worry, your cell mate, Bubba, will keep you safe, like he does all his girls...

One thing about people who want to die, well they die. Period. The don't call their families or their boyfriend/girlfriend and tell them they just took a lehtal dose of "tylenol cold" to say "goodbye". The 'call for help' we hear so much about is actually a call for attention. The ironic thing is that the fools that choose tylenol (or whatever your favorite brand of acetaminophen is) to feign suicidal ideation with (thinking that it's a drug we give kids, "It must be harmless!") are shocked when we tell them that they might have severe liver damage from their act.

They wonder why we have an attitude in the ED when they come, pretending to have psyche issues, when the ED is full of people just like them. The shame of it is the effect they have on the real psychiatric population; you get so tired of dealing with the "Look-At-Me"s, that when a real patient in crisis comes in, your compassion and coping skills have already been obliterated. Not fair to them, seriously.

Anyway, enough psychiatric crud.

Let's get back to shaking that crane...

B.